


In Yurio We Trust

by HQ_Wingster



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Conspiracy Theorist Yuri Plisetsky, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, Supportive Katsuki Yuuri, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, Viktor and Yuuri want to raise a family, Yurio has to talk some sense into them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 02:57:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9579416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HQ_Wingster/pseuds/HQ_Wingster
Summary: Married and successfully settled down in St. Petersburg, Viktor and Yuuri stare at the empty space in their hearts that could only be filled by a child. Of course, if any business was to be done about a child, Viktor had to get past Yurio first.A potential crack-fic that's actually kind of serous...?





	

**Author's Note:**

> A fanfic request for a Tumblr user who won my followers' raffle.
> 
> I apologize for this crack-fic.

_There was a hole in the apartment._ Viktor patched up a hole in his sweatpants one afternoon when he noticed a rather revealing tear on the underside of his thigh. _There was an empty feeling in the apartment._ Makkachin's stomach often felt empty in the early morning and late afternoon, and he whined and nudged his owners with his great big head to hook their attention. _There was an odd feeling that dragged Viktor and Yuuri's arms whenever they hugged, almost longing for another to join in embrace._ For the past three weeks since Viktor and Yuuri's iconic marriage, Yurio had been avoiding the couple like the plaque.  At first, he didn't mind the little bits of comfort they shared with him through food and nice walks by the water during the evening. At first, he didn't turn his head away from the dinner invites and little movie dates that almost became a weekly ritual. At first, Yurio wasn't suspicious but now he was.

The loving gestures and helpful hints that Yuuri gave him while they practiced together at the rink. The cheerful glint in Viktor's eyes whenever he waved at Yurio from down the hall or street. The fact that Yuuri would also wash Yurio's clothes whenever the youth came over for the weekend. The scary plate of breakfast that Viktor made while humming under his breath while Yurio poured himself a glass of milk to drink.

Sprawled across Viktor's couch, Yurio squinted at the couple as they did their usual thing. Yuuri mostly stayed in the kitchen, trying a new recipe that his mother emailed him. Viktor was messing with his laptop, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose every now and then as they slipped lower. Yurio squinted at Viktor especially. The man had his finger pressed against his lip, and Yurio swore he saw rainbows and stars burst from Viktor's eyes as his mouth curved into a toothy grin.

Viktor and Yuuri were planning on eating him. Of course, it had to be that! Why else would Yuuri stuff seconds and thirds onto Yurio's plate during their shared meals? Why else would Viktor hug Yurio often? The older man was checking to feel how much meat Yurio had put on after Yuuri's calorie-counting exploding meals. Of course...Why didn't Yurio see this sooner? A walk during the evening? It was just a way for Yurio to get hungry again so that the couple could fatten him up. The increased comforts he received were just a ploy so that he could drop his guard.

Yurio's eyes shot towards the kitchen when he heard rustling in one of the drawers. Yuuri pulled out a knife and began to chop an onion. Oh, the humanity! They were going to make Yurio cry before getting eaten. What kind of plot was this?!

"Yurio?"

Yurio looked up, eyes locked on Viktor. Viktor pulled down his glasses.

"Are you developing weird theories again?"

"No." Yurio may've emphasized the "o", or he may not have. It didn't sound emphasized to him, but Viktor simply raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's not like we're going to eat you," Viktor teased and Yuuri smashed the knife through a poor onion and yelled:  _"What?!"_

Yurio wasn't amused, not one bit. Raising his own eyebrow, he slid off the couch and tiptoed over to Viktor, glancing at the laptop screen. An adoption website. It was worser than what Yurio thought. What was Viktor planning? He already had Makkachin, and the old poodle was pretty much as old as a kid from an adoption center. Viktor already had Yuuri, so why spend the resources on taking care of another human being?  _He has me._ _Wait, what?_ Yurio shook his head. No, he wasn't going to drag himself down to this makeshift family that was beginning to blossom around Viktor.

Even so, Viktor had everything he would possibly ever need in life, so why browse through an adoption website? Yurio glanced over at Yuuri, catching sight of the man humming under his breath as he carved little animal shapes from his onion slices. The extra cushions that littered the main and guest bedroom, the squishy rug underneath Yurio's feet, the little sippy cups and saucy jars that Yurio often drank his milk out of, and the influx of stuff animals that seemed to appear and disappear around every corner of Viktor's damn apartment.

Yurio gasped.

"I always knew you were a five-star champion," Yurio muttered under his breath. _"And I thought the Pork Cutlet Bowl's comment was just a phrase."_

Viktor's hands hovered over his laptop's keyboard. _"What?"_

_"Why didn't you tell me that the Cutlet Bowl is pregnant?"_

Viktor fell out of his seat, and Yuuri nearly stabbed his thumb as he peeled off the top layer of onion. Makkachin rushed to Viktor and licked his owner's wound while Viktor clutched his stomach as he doubled over in laughter. _Better to play it off as a joke_ , Yurio thought. He cracked a passable grin as Viktor got back up and checked on Yuuri before telling Yurio,

"Doesn't work like that."

"Yeah, I figured."

Viktor picked up his laptop and returned to his seat. "You sure you aren't making up theories?"

Yurio nodded. "So why are you on an adoption site?"

"Isn't it simple? Yuuri and I have thought about it for a while, but we hope to have a child in the future."

Yurio raised an eyebrow. "Oh, please. You two? Parents?"

Over in the kitchen, Yuuri sighed as he pulled off his apron. "Believe me, I said the exact same thing when Viktor first mentioned it."

"It's not a bad idea," Viktor countered, a bit of a pout hugging his lips.

"Yeah,  _It's a terrible idea,_ " Yurio added as he scratched behind Makkachin's ears. "Think about it. You two spend from dawn to dust at the ice rink. If you adopt a kid, you'll be neglecting the child with a babysitter while you two train. Even if you brought the kid with you, how will you two balance practice and family time?"

"That's why you're here, Yurio~"

"What?"

Before Yurio knew it, Viktor dragged him onto the couch and squished himself against him while Viktor balanced his laptop over their knees. Clicking through a few profiles, Viktor glanced over at Yurio with that air of wit and charm that fooled everyone except him,  _Yuri "Yurio" Plisetsky._ Scrolling through the profiles, Yurio shook his head at every kid.

"What about this one?"

"Viktor, this kid has a criminal record. She stole cars when she was eight!"

"What about him?"

"He's three! How are you going to take care of a three year old while you're getting back to the swing of skating?"

"What about this one?"

"Viktor, he's already adopted. Read the bottom. It said he was adopted an hour ago."

Before Yurio knew it, two hours had already passed. Viktor was busy on the floor, throwing a ball for Makkchin to catch while Yuuri mixed together a cluttered soup. Was Yurio invested? Perhaps. The more kids he saw, the more he wanted to find the right one for his friends. Let's see...Someone old enough so that Yuuri and Viktor wouldn't have to be too overprotective. Someone with a clean record so that the lovebirds wouldn't have to fall down with the kid. Someone...someone...

Yurio skimmed through the last profile on the adoption site. It was a boy named Jerry. Mousy-haired, light eyes, a cartoon bandage over his nose in his profile picture, and the kid was perched on a fence like he was a bird about to take flight. Going down the profile, Yurio saw a relatively clean record. A few minor infractions for "parkouring in public domains such as train stations, school buildings, and theaters." Who was this kid?

"Did you actually find somebody?"

Yurio turned around. Viktor hovered right over his shoulder while Makkachin drooled onto Yurio's jacket. Yuuri came over as well, keeping a modest distance away from Yurio as the teen shooed Viktor away. Viktor only took it as an invitation to get closer, and his eyes lit up when he saw Jerry.

"Is he the one?"

"Depends on what you want. He appears to be a nice kid, pretty athletic, and has a soft spot for animals--" Before Yurio could continue, Makkachin reached out his paw and touched Jerry's profile picture. Enough was said on that.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~
> 
> What's with the weird eating in the beginning of the chapter. Family inside-joke. My family often jokes about fattening me up to eat me. It's weird out of context, but it's pretty funny. Since I'm eating more now, my brother often teases me with, "The potato is growing!"


End file.
